Our Story     

How We Met

We met at “Milford Family Fitness” – Tom was my spinning instructor. I thought he was “a flirt” and he thought I was “too high maintenance”. He was right. I still think he teaches a good class and I still think he looks cute in spandex. I doubt that I would have really thought too much about him, if I hadn’t enjoyed the spinning so much and because of my friend Karen. Karen really was the one who felt that we might be good for each other and made that quite plain to me, to Tom, separately and in front of each other.

She felt he might be interested, I thought not, but I was not sure, Karen was never likely to be bothered by a little negativity in either party when she had our best interests at heart. In any case, I joined the same gym as Tom, where there were more and better instructors on Tom’s recommendation and afterwards we would go for coffee. Tom was just being friendly, (Karen thought that could not be the case, and that I was growing on him, but then she did not realize, as I did, that Tom is an outrageous flirt. However, he kinda grew on me - he was so different from the guys I dated. They were like me, driven, selfish, work obsessed, controllers. Two controllers vying for domination are unlikely to have a successful relationship and this continually proved to be the case.

Image Courtesy of Liz and Tom
Basically, I got to know Tom when he broke his leg. Back at the Milford gym, Tom still taught, there being no one to replace him. Tom needed a bit of help to get setup, and out the door. I think it was the fact he was so fragile for a while that made me start thinking and liking Tom. However, we really have Tom’s ex-lady friend Donna to thank. She basically told him to put their relationship on a more formal footing or end it. Thomas, did not love her, or for that matter, me or anyone else, but unfailingly honest, he felt compelled to end the relationship. A while later (ask Tom for the exact timing), as he was free, he allowed himself to be maneuvered by Karen in to asking me on a date at breakfast after his spinning class with Karen, her husband Bob me and Tom. Tom invited me out to dinner, but with a broken leg it seemed a bit of a chore and so I asked him over to visit me and he brought dinner. At some point during the evening Thomas kissed me and I kissed him back. At that point it gets really hazy, all I can say is that there was a lot of chemistry, it felt like my brain was painlessly removed from my head and I started to run on instinct. We fell in love and that was that. Since the 13th March 2004 we have not been apart.

We are polar opposites, but we learn to adapt. I have learned to ride a bike and I enjoy it although, I am just as happy going along at 13 mph as at 23 mph. I have yet to be able to cruise at 33mph. Thomas is good naturedly competitive. He is unfailingly positive, hard-working, orderly, pragmatic, practical and he loves to do stuff with minimal planning. He is strong and tireless. He is very caring towards others and always notes what he does in terms of how it might impact others. Now, I am quick-tempered, logical, ambitious, and messy, I not mechanically-minded. I like to have a plan and I really like it if the plan is mine and that we follow the schedule laid-out in the plan. I like to worry, especially if there is no plan. I have a strong sense of justice and a set of principles that I live by, but I often fail to think of others, while adhering to those principles. I often get sick and need my rest. All in all, we tend to compliment each other.

The Proposal

In May 2005, my Mother came to visit. She wanted to meet Thomas. My Mother liked Thomas, especially when he took time off from work to spend a day with her. They went on an outing and my mother had a really good time. My Mum now loves Thomas. Of course, she had noticed that Tom loved me and that I was happy. These things are important to my Mum. So despite the fact that Thomas is a foreigner and I if I stay with him I shall have to live in a land run by an idiot, my mother decided that finally here was someone for me. Additionally, she also had a week of guided tours and learned that the American political system had some advantages and she realized that Bush has to step down. (She’s thinking that the US should elect Tony Blair as he is going to be in need of a job soon).

Thus, at the end of a week Mum had come to a decision. Thomas could be a son. Thomas never stood a chance. Thomas had also decided, he asked my Mum for permission to marry me on the last day of her visit. I was not told any of this. He explained to Mum that he would propose to me on our July vacation when he had time to get a ring. Mum said “yes” and went off to finish her packing. Twenty minutes later she came back and had the audacity to say, “Tom, why don’t you propose to her now, before I go?”. ( I do not know, but I am sure Mum wheedled, in her tone there were probably nuances about, “not getting any younger, making an old woman happy…etc.).

Anyway, Thomas was done for. So he proposed to me, just our secret, in front of my Mum on the couch with his class ring. I was completely shocked. Mum got up and left the room – not as we thought to give us some privacy, oh no Mum was on the phones calling as many people/witnesses as possible ( in case we had to threaten a lawsuit for ‘breach of promise?). So the secret was blown on two continents and three countries in under 5 minutes. And so here we are.

So far all my family and friends like Tom, with the exception of my Aunt Marilyn, Mum’s sister, who wants to like him, but they have not met yet.

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